" A couple of years back, i was terribly depressed and suicidal. In my mind, no one would care if i die, i'm just one dot in this vast universe. I'm just a burden. Feeling all this pain, in this hell...i'm better off dead. I was already planning my death( the hows ,what, where). I didn't have a set date yet. I was planning to cut ties from people and all that but i know that whenever i feel like it's time, i will do it. I was ready.
Suddenly, before the end of the school year (that same year), one of my classmates did it. Wouldn't go into detail about how but it was in our campus and some of my classmates saw him. Everything stopped for a while. Exams got cancelled, classes were cancelled for that entire week, we had to undergo some sort of class therapy ( we have atleast 1 case of suicide per year.). There, my brain went into a glitch. Idk but i was just floating watching these people grieve. Slowly, it came to me...that the world will never stop for you. But for the people who loves you and cares for you? Their worlds will change. I am not even close with this person yet somehow, like a ripple effect, he affected me. He's a very active and happy guy on the outside and no one would ever suspect he's suffering. During those time, i heard that several of my classmates were suffering from depression (and other forms of mental illness) too. It's just that we're to isolated and confined within ourselves that we didn't notice it. I sortof felt like...i wasn't alone. After that event...i felt guilty, i felt that i have to atleast try, for him. I owe him my life, tbh. If that didn't happen, i probly would've ended it, never graduated and all. Wherever he is i hope he's happy."
( j_kyuu04).
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